Lingy } Z-lovee

2012-01-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

Instead of crying, I know I can do better than this.

My life is screwed up, currently in a big mess.

Sigh....

2012-01-05T01:15:00.001+08:00

If only everything wasn't a delusion.

2011-12-28T01:37:00.003+08:00

My curiosity, leads me to pain.

I saw those truths, and remembered those lies you made.

Crying, thinking why must you torture me this way?

What do you actually want from me?

Your lies, destruct my hopes, my life.

2011-12-26T22:09:00.001+08:00

Otw home, on bus.
At time like this, I get too emotional, that I stay alone.
Not wanting to talk to anyone.
I'm totally clueless, about what I really want.
Totally clueless.

Girl: Do you know penguins find their mates and stay together for the rest of their life?
Boy: Be my penguin.

2011-12-25T22:17:00.002+08:00

I go round and round, to find myself back to square one.
Learnt to be contented, and I just hope I'm good enough for everyone.
So much things in life, why is it so hard to understand?
One way to relief, is to cry. No hard feelings, but just cry.
The mess I created, I will clear it myself.

You are the apple of my eye. I meant it.
But........

2011-12-17T21:18:00.001+08:00

I miss you.

2011-12-11T17:21:00.002+08:00

Sup, how's life for you?

It's been real long that I've blogged, but anw, who's reading? Laughs.

There're so much to catch up in life, so much to understand.

Mad tired, shall continue soon.

2011-12-01T08:39:00.001+08:00

Laughs, money-faced? Facepalm to you.

2011-11-27T17:47:00.001+08:00

Don't want a relationship? Bullshit.

2011-11-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

说真的，我不笨。
我只是没有那么聪明。

2011-11-24T20:16:00.002+08:00

Awful day. That I cried in school.
As you can see, I'm very emotional.
I woke up late as usual which made my morning very gloomy.
Went to school, thanks to this miss-saint, I was humiliated infront of my classmates.
Went to gym, because of my carelessness, I made a friend lost her phone.
Went to school again, miss-saint made my day went down all over again.
Thanks ah.

2011-11-24T09:17:00.002+08:00

Promises were made to be broken.
I love you. I loved you. I still love you.
But. I'm moving on.
You lost me. And you'll never be able to make it up to me.
Already gone.

2011-11-23T21:16:00.003+08:00

Mom just told me, "如果肚子饿，可以拿来吃啊。”

Because she bought food to store in the cupboard.

I feel lucky to have her, because even without telling her, she knew.

She knew I starved myself. For 3 weeks. To save money. For someone out there.

It's time I treat myself better. I should love myself more.

2011-11-23T08:49:00.000+08:00

You deserve better.

2011-11-22T23:09:00.002+08:00

I felt as though I've screwed up my own life.

Cry, to relief. Imma crybaby, as always.

My heart is aching so bad, and all I can do is just smile and life goes on.

It will be the right thing.

2011-11-22T19:36:00.002+08:00

I've seen through your lies.
From the start, those were just your excuses.
I was a fool.

2011-11-22T09:37:00.001+08:00

All I can feel, is that my heart's aching.

2011-11-19T23:06:00.002+08:00

Backspaced. Everything, is of no point anymore.

从一开始，我说过我不配。

从一开始，我说过我不好。

我不爱你了，因为那份爱已经变成了需要。

但是，全部都不重要了。

我的心，这次真的碎了。

Hiatus.

2011-11-18T09:33:00.001+08:00

Sleepless nights. Unpleasant.

2011-11-18T00:31:00.002+08:00

Fk jealousy. Z.
If I don't ask doesn't mean I don't know, z.

月亮

2011-11-14T20:23:00.000+08:00

Today. Sucha cold, rainy weather.
When I'm alone, I tend to overthink, worry and get sensitive.
It's a routine, and yes, that's me.
Today. Not excluded either.
I made the choice, to watch movie alone.
Y'know the feeling of just..wanting to be alone for the time being?
Ofcourse not leaving anyone, just...don't want to think about anything.
Today. Experienced something I've never tried.
I was too dependent on anyone. Even till now.
The feeling was.. weird and new. Facing the crowd.
Just amazing. I've learnt something new.
Today. Realised that things can't be forced when it's not meant to be.
Truth to be told, I wasn't prepared, even when I knew it was gonna happen.
I look like a total messed-up-person on the bus, trying to blog.
Crying and getting upset, emotions run-over. Meh.

I lost it.

2011-11-13T17:28:00.000+08:00

i... miss you.

Virgo.

2011-11-12T21:33:00.002+08:00

Dealing with a Virgo takes patience, much of it.

Some may find Virgo to be cold and emotionally detached. This is because Virgos live in their minds, not in their feelings.

Virgos often say "I'm okay", but inside they are covering up their chaotic and confused feelings.

A Virgo needs to feel wanted and needed by their lover.

Virgo value friendship greatly and are ready to put great amounts of effort to keep their friends happy

Virgos love giving out advice & information.

Usually Virgos are considered "old souls". Most of them act mature for their age & are pointed out because of it.

That's me for you.

Credits : @TheDailyVirgo

2011-11-12T19:07:00.001+08:00

'I can promise you that as long as you're trying, I'm staying.'

- @GirlsPosts

2011-11-11T21:59:00.001+08:00

Awful day.

Took a nap, woke up and i feel my life was screwed.

Why would I even bother anyway ?

2011-11-11T08:51:00.001+08:00

I'm fine w anything. Fkin' fine.

2011-11-10T08:02:00.005+08:00

Hidden thoughts ; one.

She stood there alone, by the side of the bridge.

Young and fragile, looking so weak.

It seems like she's looking for someone. Or maybe waiting for someone.

Each time I leave house or go home, I would have to walk pass that bridge.

As usual, I would see her, in that white dress, somewhat having a little stains.

One day, it was raining so heavily, and the first thought I had was:

'Is that girl still there?'

Out of curiosity, or maybe concern, I walked out of my house to the bridge.

It was late at night, dark and there wasn't anyone.

I thought she might have went home, but my heart wasn't at ease.

'I have to turn back.'

As I walked further down, and took a closer look.

There she was, squatting down, drenched and shivering in cold.

I ran up to her, and sheltered her with an umbrella.

When I grabbed her, those pairs of eyes shocked me.

Helplessness, fragile, vulnerable, lost in her own world.

Her hands were cold, like ice.

As I tried to pull her closer, to keep her warm, I could feel water dripping on my hand.

It wasn't the rain. It wasn't the droplets.

Tried pulling her to stand up, but her legs were too weak.

The rain got heavier, as I carried her back to my house.

I told her.

' Don't worry, I won't do anything. Take a bath, if not you might fall sick.'

As a guy, I couldn't enter the bathroom so I waited outside, just in case.

When she was done, I laid her down on the sofa, wrapped her with a dry towel to keep her warm.

Looking at her, I realised something amazing.

She is beautiful, but filled with pain and sadness inside her.

At that moment, I know I want to protect her. I want to keep her away from harm.

I sat down beside her, tried all ways to get her to speak, but to no avail.

Days passed, she refused to talk, refused to move away from the sofa.

But at least, she's eating her meals, which I believed one day, she would open up to me.

I did not give up.

But looking at her state, my patience got lower and lower.

I got the urge to know more.

One night, I let out a huge sigh after trying to get her to talk.

Before heading to bed, I decided to let her have the bed.

I carried her in the room, laid her on the bed.

'Let me know, if you need anything.'

As usual, I expected no response. But as I turned away,

'Thankyou...'

A soft, weak voice striked my thoughts.

I was so glad. Glad that she's finally talking.

Things got better, but she's still a stranger to me.

I don't know anything about her, and sometimes I would think back.

'Why did I care about her?'

Trying to figure out why, I tried to talk to her.

I guess she wasn't comfortable about her past, so she did not mention.

Deciding not to probe further, we talked about our lifestyles.

Her smiles, were shown more frequently now.

So different from when I first saw her, that fragile girl.

One day, she asked.

'Why are you so good to me....?'

Without hesitation, I answered.

'Because.....

I heard those screams when no one else did.

I saw those sorrows, when no one else did.

Behind those smiles, I know you're hurting so bad.'

Silence.

But I know she's crying, inside.

'Cry if you want to.

The next minute, I see the girl, who was once weak, like I first saw her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2011-11-09T11:45:00.002+08:00

Those protections are not here anymore.

Guess what? I'm looking things in bird-eye view.

I saw those big pictures, I met those pair of eyes.

I saw through the lies between them.

I saw every bit and pieces of sorrows.

I saw those tears when they're flowing out in the heart.

I heard those screamings, yellings, shoutings that was drowned in silence.

Behind the smile, it was these pain that causes breakdowns at times.

For the past years, I've learnt. Learnt to love myself more.

Those that inspires me and pushes me through life to move on. Thankyou.

I am myself, and love me for that. Right?

2011-11-08T23:46:00.001+08:00

Afraid. I was afraid.

But situations like this, I had enough.

2011-11-08T22:06:00.002+08:00

a song from my heart.

believe in me, for everything.

swallowed.

jealousy isn't about anything, but includes life.

girls don't get jealous for nothing.

even if the reason is stupid, lame or wtv, it's still a reason.

2011-11-08T19:34:00.001+08:00

strengthless.

i'll be fine. i'll be okay.

right?

2011-11-08T10:07:00.003+08:00

Not good enough yet.

Soon, I'll be.

Or maybe not..

2011-11-08T00:52:00.002+08:00

Shut my mind. Count those sheeps. Close my eyes. Fall asleep.

Insomnia.

2011-11-07T06:56:00.001+08:00

Enchanted to meet you.

Pdbilwse, pdhswoy.

I need sleep. My whole head is floating in the air.

One and only.

2011-11-05T23:59:00.002+08:00

It's 11.59p.m, of 5th Nov 2011.

Happy 2nd Month, Baby ♥

I know it's late, but still, I want to dedicate this post to you.

For these two months, I'm glad I have you with me.

Still, the word "Lucky".

I know my stubbornness really gets on your nerves at times.

Including my flaws, my imperfections, my negative side.

You saw through it all.

But you stayed with me, assuring me and holding me.

Till now, you're just as sweet and understanding.

On the day, 5th Oct 2011.

I still remember how the two of us chatted on the phone throughout the night.

And when it's already past 12a.m, on 6th Oct 2011.

We remembered it was our first month.

We somehow spent it together ^^

Baby I love you.

Always have, always will.

I really really really really want to give it to you.

Always yours, ♥

Walk For Rice

2011-11-04T22:29:00.003+08:00

Voluntary work.

Awful day in school, but whatever it is, this walk made me cheer up a little.

Though it was only 1hour or so, I had fun collecting those ice-cream sticks.

Fyi, this event requires you to either walk or run, and for every 100m, a bowl of rice will be donated to the needy!

If you've been to my school or could see how long the route was in those pictures above,

a round of that, is 200m, which in another word, one ice-cream stick also meant, you've walked/run for 200m.

Guess what? Dyana and I collected 30 each. LOL.

Yati collected 8 sticks, if I didn't remember wrongly, because she got to go for another class ):

Had quite a hard time collecting the last few, because apparently it rained.

But the main point is....

WE DONATED 60 BOWLS OF RICE EACH. HAHAHAHAHA.

-CLAPS FOR OURSELVES-

No big deal actually, but doing some voluntary work, I feel good.

Probably much better after an awful day in class.

Alright, dk what to blog anymore....

2011-11-03T13:28:00.003+08:00

Currently in lecture hall, trying to concentrate,

but somehow somewhat, my mind is somewhere else.

Probably because i just woke up not long ago, felt so blur and lost.

Got so much to learn, so much to catch up.

JIAYOU AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aish.

2011-11-03T00:39:00.002+08:00

cruelty.

harshness.

reality.

truth.

facts.

i'm a human too.

2011-11-01T13:16:00.000+08:00

Im losing my mind.

Aish. Fk this shit.

thoughtless

2011-10-30T17:14:00.004+08:00

What happened? Those days, those nights.

I didn't have much energy to do anything, at all.

But guess what? Things just happened like this.

It's like I'd just woke up from a really bad dream.

Those fears, those screams, those cries.

No one hears it. No one feels it. Except myself.

I start to become awfully silent, without myself knowing.

It was when friends asked "Are you sure you're okay?".

I smiled, and answered "Yes."

Somehow, they're really good at making me pour things out.

But all they did was, look at me, stayed for a few more minutes and said "You're not."

They didn't blame me for not telling them in the first place. They know I'm hurting so bad.

And they know me too well, that I didn't want to worry anyone.

I'm really simple. A very simple girl. Just like a typical girl next door.

Who doesn't want a happy life? Who doesn't want true love?

But everyone do have to go through a hard time, right?

This week wasn't a good week for me, though.

If you know me long enough, you would have noticed, just anyone close, can affect my mood.

And because I have this emotional-habit, I tend to overlook on things.

Everyone is selfish, but it's just how you compromise to each other, agree?

Nightmares occurred for the past few nights, which I tried to hide it in.

The fear in me, grew even more. That sometimes I just break down and cry.

Alright, I know I'm a crybaby, but everyone does cry once in their lifetime right?

That's me for you, because that's how I let out my emotions and relief myself from pain.

But it's also me, that I can't really express myself out. I uses different words.

Which sometimes, became irony or contradicting.

After reading so much, wondering why I post this? I had no idea either.

It was only after I woke up, which apparently I fainted after I got home.

I felt sick. I felt unwell. I felt terrible. I felt my conditions worsen.

Then I realized, my life is short. Very short. Don't ask why.

I don't want to regret, leaving things unsaid and then things just fade away like this.

I was alone. On my bed. With my phone.

So I decided to look back those messages, by him and friends.

While looking back, I teared, my heart's aching so bad.

And all of the sudden, I felt loneliness. I felt helpless. I do not know what to do.

Part of me wants to know. Part of me don't want to appear annoying.

Then I started crying, like a mad woman.

I lost it. I lost something important. I lost someone important.

I know I'm not good enough. I know I'm filled with flaws.

I aren't perfect, and I'm childish. But despite these, you stayed.

I remember. I remember when I was drunk, you called me up to check if I'm okay, despite the fact that we're still strangers. I remember it happened twice. I remember the day we started texting, and it never ends till even now. I remember how shy we were when we started talking on the phone. I remember us teasing each other, and we would laugh, feeling embarrass. I remember how you would call me a bully and I would giggle silently. I remember how straightforward we were, wanting each other's accompany, even if it's just texting. I remember how we stayed up till midnight, just to stay by each other. I remember me showing you a little jealousy and you would say I'm petty. I remember you starting to call me idiot and me calling you baka. I remember I told you I would look back our messages one by one, and you said I'm cute. I remember us starting to find each other cute, starting to tease each other even more. I remember us starting to give each other concern, worrying about each other. I remember showing you my past photos, and I felt inferior, but you sent me texts, assuring me. I remember calling you up at 1.38am, just to talk to you, despite having work at 5.30am. I remember you teasing that I'm old when I'm turning 18. I remember you telling me in details, when I asked what do you feel about me. I remember you getting angry with me, because I lied. Lied about being fine. I remember you talking to me patiently, requesting me to be myself in front of you. I remember how cute you were when you finished your presentation in school. I remember during the midnight of my birthday, you told me you kindof like me more than a friend. I remember telling you that I felt protected by you. I remember you telling me to spend my day wisely, and comforting me. I remember telling you that one of my birthday wish, is for you to be healthy and happy. I remember you wanting to wish me at 11.59pm, but I didn't get the hint of calling you 5mins earlier and you kept apologizing for that. I remember you telling me that you miss me and I got so shy that I blushed. I remember telling you about my future, my marriage, my kids' names and stuff, I was embarrassed, but you made me laugh instead. I remember us confessing to each other "我喜欢你" in the middle of the night. I remember you staying up to watch me study, asking me to concentrate. I remember you crying together with me, when I'm hurting so bad. I remember you telling me how curious you were, of being a gay.I remember you requesting me to make up in front of you, and showing you what products those are. I remember telling you that you've got all the rights to be jealous of anything. I remember you calling me evil when I teased you about something you said wrong. I remember you would tell me you miss my voice, wanting me to call you. I remember you calling me baby in text for the first time, and I took long to figure it out. I remember us telling each other "Iloveyou" randomly, causing the shyness and making us smile. I remember you assuring me that I've got you , when I said "I want you". I remember how shy we were, when we first call each other "baby" on the phone, and you told me you liked it. I remember you telling me that I did my best when I "):" about my exams. I remember us telling each other how lucky we were to have each other. I remember you staying up online to tag audi hearts. I remember you camp at garden just to water and dust. I remember us wanting to know each other more. I remember us sending long texts to each other, assuring each other. I remember how you asked me to be your girlf and you were so cute. I remember each time I feel inferior and not good enough for you, you would assure me, telling me that you would love me no matter what. I remember I had nightmare and I called you up and cried. I remember you telling me that no matter what, you would stay with me, telling me not to be afraid. I remember the first time you included a "kiss" in a text, just because I requested it. I remember how you gave in to me, how you said you miss me despite being angry with me. I remember me crying in front of the cam, and you got angry with me for not telling you anything and making you worried, but still, you stayed with me. I remember how good you are, how sweet you are, how concern you are about me. I remember.

You held me up, when I'm at my most down period. You caught me, when I'm falling.

And yes, it's you, my dearest. My babybaka. My love. My boyf.

I've always been afraid, the fear in me increases day by day.

Which is that I do not want to lose you. Over my dead body.

Things changed. Even my life changed. It was selfish of me for not trying hard enough.

It was my wrong to not think for you. It was my wrong to not see what you meant.

All I ever did was trying to cherish these moments with you, but little did I know,

I made things turn out the other way round.

I'm sorry, for hurting you so bad. It pains me to see you ignoring me.

Part of me just want to try, try to talk to you. But why.....

I want to work things out together with you, again.

Baby, are you still together with me?

It's now 7.48pm, and I took hours to write this post.

Pardon me for taking so long. I'm really not feeling well now..

Every night, I would wonder, if I'm gone, would anyone miss me?

2011-10-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

Please don't be in love with someone else.

Ah fk this insecurity in me.

2011-10-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

looks like i'm blogging alot today.

best friends

2011-10-28T21:09:00.006+08:00

okay, this was me a year ago. LOL.

WHY I LOOK SO........ WTF.

But anyway, the four of us, best-friends since year 1.

Tho we separated into different classes, we're as close as sisters.

[From left to right]

Yati, Mengmeng, Dyana and me ^^

Okay, the purpose of me writing this 'gonna-be-long' post, is because of....

DYANA'S 19TH!

Alright alright, I know it's kind of late to post this up, but better late than never right ^^

Okay first,

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO DYANA

yes, again, but well, as long as she's happy.

Um, I might get a little emotional, and if you dwna continue reading, you may stop here.

The shyness, the formality, those glances we took at each other.

From the first day we met, we knew the girls in our class, is just gonna be the 5 of us.

So probably, that's what actually made us bond together and work from it.

We spent our time together most of the time.

Sharing our past experiences, sharing our agony, sharing our secrets.

Laughing at each other, smiling at each other, giving in to each other.

We just don't get mad, because we know it's gonna hurt.

Sometimes homework, projects, other-friends might keep us apart.

But we're always together.

And this special lady over here, is someone I would always cherish.

Her innocent, her personality, her character.

No matter how tired she is, she would drag her feet to school.

Brightening up my day, without showing me how tired she was.

I appreciate it a lot, a lot.

She listens to my ranting, my complaints, my whining.

She's always there, just there by my side.

AND I'M VERY HAPPY SHE'S IN THE SAME CLASS AS ME.

YES, SAME CLASS, TILL I GRADUATE.

OHMYGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Y'know I'm very thankful.

That she's born in this world T.T

Thanks to her parents.

Without them, she wouldn't be here.

And also, thanks to those who hurt her in the past.

Okay, sound ironic. But yes, thank them.

Why? Because.....

THEY MADE HER SO STRONG, STRONGER THAN BEFORE.

Okay, Dyana, I know you're reading this, -waves-

I know I've included this in your portfolio LOL.

But I want the whole world to know, what a great friend you are!

We're always here, for you.

CALL US UP.

AND YOU, YOU BETTER TAKE CARE BECAUSE YOU'RE FALLING SICK.

I LOVE YOU ^^

Then the rest, let the pictures talk :s

they're both beautiful, isn't it? ^^

OHYES, MY RAINBOW CAKE.

SAYANGSSSSSS, BE FREE SOON ):

Dearest, get well soon alright? Stay healthy.

I'm glad things are fine now.

I love you, baby.

2011-10-28T19:57:00.001+08:00

Came across this on tumblr.

'Are you okay?'

'Just tired.'

Torn apart.

Insecure.

Really faking my smile.

Extremely sad.

Drowning in my tears.

2011-10-28T18:41:00.001+08:00

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF WORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

all i need, was just a miracle.

2011-10-28T14:11:00.009+08:00

shouldn't have go for school today :\ because things just go haywired.
9am class, rushed to school, and i was in a total mess.
guess what? my dearest teacher did not turn up, neither did he/she turn up for yesterday's lecture.
so lesson was self-cancelled, whole class went off.
certainly, the last lecture was skipped too.
but it was still early, and dyana wants to kill time :s

my baking class got cancelled ): ): ): sad max.

okay, i'm really tired. idk why, but i just feel tired.

and it's been days, ever since i had a proper meal.

aish, seriously, what's wrong w myself.

twice per day, i'm getting sick of it already.

2011-10-28T08:37:00.002+08:00

很痛，真的很痛。

我的脑海里，一片空白，只是想你。

玲儿，努力地想，一定回想起。

加油加油，不管有多累，都得想。

Ah, so shag and tired.

Fell asleep when my alarm rings and dammit I'm late.

Well, that's me for you, always late late late.

School's ending early, let's hope it will be a better day.

Hungry like mad :s but y'know the feeling of not wanting to eat anything?

Something's wrong w my mind, tsk.

I guess I'm not gonna pay attention in class :s

Puffy eyes, shagged mind, screwed up feelings.

Okay, I don't know what to blog already, just wanna kill time while otw to school.

2011-10-27T22:39:00.004+08:00

It's gonna take a long long long long while, for my emotional to run clear.

There are reasons to so many things, and there are excuses, too.

I've been using those, as cover-ups to escape reality, that I guessed I was turned 'blind'.

Those flaws in me, never gets out of my head. It never once got out.

When talking about the past, for sure it's gonna hurt a little.

I was too naive. I was too blunt. I was too careless.

And here to assure you, since the day you made me fell in love w you,

My mind was all about you, and just you only.

Probably because my mouth consists of those other words, but in my heart, you're the one.

I will be good enough for you soon, I promise.

I'm sorry, for hurting you so bad.

no matter how much pain i'm having inside me,

but compared to those who really needs help.

it's probably nothing.

tmr will be a better day..... right....?

2011-10-27T19:29:00.001+08:00

I'm lost.

2011-10-27T16:56:00.002+08:00

Open up, say it out, let both of us know.
Let's not left things unsaid anymore.
You know, I know, we're hurting so bad.
Give it all we could, and make it all worthwhile.

2011-10-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

tonight, i feel.. weird.

don't stop trying.

)':

2011-10-26T23:32:00.001+08:00

2011-10-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

Let it fade away~

2011-10-25T23:51:00.001+08:00

er.... i forgot what to blog about.........

when i'm bored again.......

2011-10-25T20:23:00.003+08:00

2011-10-24T00:16:00.002+08:00

Angriness within me.

I guess this is gonna be a quite a long post. Pardon me for my typos and stuff.
I aren't feeling good, neither am I 100% sane.
Just wanna rant everything out.
Being angry is one of the fked up emotion.
And worst, what am I angry about? Myself.

Y'know, sometimes being quiet or saying 'it's okay' or 'it's fine', stuff like that do mean something?
And guess what? I'm always like this.
Afraid of this and that, saying it's really fine but I'm hurting so bad inside.
Thinking for others, putting yourself in another person's shoes and think. It's hard. Harder than expected.
Never ever try too hard, i always tell myself that. But it doesn't seem to work :s
I break down fkin easily, so probably that's why there're so many people taking advantage of it.
I'm stubborn and selfish, thinking whatever I insisted on is for the best.
At times, i was proven wrong. And i lost it.
I get angry at myself, not being able to satisfy everyone.
I know I'm not perfect, neither is anyone. But the worst thought, is feeling helpless.
And also, useless.
Yes, I felt that way. It's terrible. Way too terrible.
Always bringing in troubles and problems, i just appear to be some nuiscance.
Eh, not being emo here. But seriously, I feel that my thoughts are being screwed up w things like these.
I dwna be like this. I swear I don't. But...that's me.
How I've grew up in 18years, I'm like this.
Friends says i'm nice. strangers says i'm a hypocrite. or vice versa.
I'm tired. Really tired. From everything.
I'm glad I have him w me, because he brighten up my thoughts, my life.
'Hey baby, thank you.' -awarmhug-
No matter what, life goes on.
Facing reality in life, is what makes us even stronger.
I learnt my lessons, have you?

2011-10-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

i'm angry. this time, i really am.

2011-10-23T14:56:00.000+08:00

Im blessed. Ty.

2011-10-23T08:37:00.001+08:00

Time is running out for me.
I'm gonna cherish every moment, w you.

2011-10-23T07:53:00.001+08:00

Time is not waiting, moving faster than before.
I need to think straight. I need to think fast.
I need to grow up, even more.
And I've got a friend, named 'Life'.

2011-10-23T01:03:00.001+08:00

as long as you're fine.

i'll cope with it, with every ways.

2011-10-23T00:28:00.001+08:00

I was demoralised.

Self-reflected.

It's not worth.

I stood up.

And I'm stronger.

Fuck off.

2011-10-22T23:22:00.001+08:00

React with a right state of mind.

2011-10-22T00:55:00.002+08:00

Had a short conver with my beloved.

P: what can u expect from a liar, a guy tht hit you? lol
P: and i really want to emphasize to you tht, once a guy hit you, its really time for u to leave him
P: in any way of abuse
A: mhmm..
P: im serious
P: once a guy does it
P: it will always happen

Let the past go, lingy.

Things worsen, like what I didn't expect.
Getting more afraid each day.

2011-10-21T01:19:00.002+08:00

It's fine. I'm fine. Perfectly fine.
Just like how I used to be, in the first place.
Fuckin' fine. Z.

2011-10-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

Heart. It's my heart.
Listen to it. Understand it. Believe in it.

2011-10-20T03:46:00.002+08:00

Suicidal thoughts.

I'm tired of everything.
Even in the middle of night, nags don't stop.
Bills bills bills bills bills bills bills.
Money money money money money money.
If i'm a pain your ass, then why not just kill me

Just kill me.

I thought I got used to those words already.
But why does it hurt so much now, and I'm crying like some mad woman.
It's 3.47am. And I'm here, worrying and crying about so many things.
Give me a break, or at least my mind.

2011-10-19T21:31:00.002+08:00

"Do not confuse Virgo's kindness for weakness or confidence for arrogance."

"There is wrong, and then there is Virgo."

"Virgos will treat you exactly how you treat them."

"Virgos always have to let their opinion be heard."

"Virgo will talk to you about anything, except their feelings."

"Virgos take everything offensive. Everything."

"Virgos love hard."

"If a Virgo is hurt or offended, they will never show it."

"Virgos can be hopeless romantic."

"In a relationship, Virgos needs a lot of affection and attention."

"Virgos spoils their partner when in a relationship, but expects that same treatment in return."

"Virgos like friends that made them laugh."

"Virgos value friendship and try to make their friends happy. Often too much."

"Virgos are stubborn."

"When a Virgo is in a relationship, they would go all the way to make their partner happy."

"Virgos are relationship-type of people, they don't enjoy being casual flings."

and that's me.

2011-10-19T15:55:00.001+08:00

Escape from reality.

If a girl is silent, it's dangerous. They're either: about to blow up, need a hug, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.

2011-10-18T18:41:00.002+08:00

Life is short, way too short.

I'm aware of everything, every little things.

I just want to do it because I don't want to regret.

Please, give me a miracle.

2011-10-18T12:32:00.006+08:00

Morning call.

Still, in love with you.

2011-10-18T00:54:00.005+08:00

I miss everything about you.

2011-10-17T15:23:00.002+08:00

I want to be healthy, like how I used to be.
Dear body, please get well. Don't prove me wrong.
I promise I would love you more than anything else.
And take care of you more than before.
So please, make this pain go away. I'm tired, of going to the place.
The place that smells so sick, I don't like medicines.
Giddymax, jiayou lingy. Just 6more hours.

2011-10-17T02:54:00.001+08:00

My heart is breaking, no my heart broke.

I can't watch you leave, baby.

Please, don't.

2011-10-17T02:05:00.003+08:00

I feel alone, every single time.

Without anyone here.

It's a terrible feeling.

You came along, went straight into my life.

You were there, always there.

I don't feel alone anymore.

Because you said you won't leave.

That was a promise.

You made everything easier whenever I had a hard time.

Just you, your voice, your words.

It's that simple.

And I'm already contented.

You made me fall in love with you, all over again.

Every single day.

But because of my stubbornness, paranoia, selfish thoughts.

It was all ruined, everything just go haywired.

And I left you alone, just like this.

It's all my fault.

But despite those above, I really do miss you.

I miss you like there's no end at all.

Pride? I don't give a fk.

I miss you, that's it.

2011-10-17T01:51:00.002+08:00

No where to turn to, no people to turn to.

Presently, not being emo. Sad, just sad.

My heart's breaking, and it's hurting so so so bad.

Dear mind, you're being selfish today.

Why? Seriously why? I don't understand either.

My heart is at it's limit today, which a little thing could make it explode.

On the verge to break down. I'm breaking down. Broke down.

There I go, crying like a crybaby, again.

2011-10-17T01:38:00.001+08:00

Okay, I've nothing to say, but just crying.

Why must things always end up like this?

Seriously, fml.

Be patient w me.

2011-10-16T02:03:00.000+08:00

Hey baby,

Happy 2months knowing you ♥

So much to say, but mainly, I love you.

2011-10-16T00:20:00.003+08:00

I'm so into different music / songs nowadays.

So many idols, and they're all females, tsk.

Here's one, Utada Hikaru.

She's an amazing Japanese idol that I'm impressed of.

Her songs are either in, of course Japanese, and also English!

Her pronunciation for English, as a Japanese, is already considered good!

Omgeeeeeeeeeee.

Japanese version :

English Version :

And another song that I'm obsessed with! Teeheehee.

2011-10-14T17:01:00.003+08:00

Each time I feel this way, I hope to escape from reality.
Why make things so complicated?
I'm tired, very.
Just why, nobody listens to the words I say?
I dwna try anymore.

Dear love,
Fight for me. Pull me back and say you need me.
With loves,
Lingy.

2011-10-14T13:46:00.001+08:00

Don't try it.

2011-10-14T03:16:00.000+08:00

Sigh... ):

2011-10-14T01:16:00.001+08:00

2011-10-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

My back, my chest, my body, my head, my cramps..
Everywhere is hurting so badly...
In the middle of the night, tolerate, lingy.

2011-10-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

Facts.

2011-10-12T01:12:00.003+08:00

Why must Singtel be so slow at this time?
Took so long to boot up mio.
Wanted to call, but too late.
Aish, singtel ah singtel. Thanks ah.

2011-10-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

I hate myself for being a bitch.
I hate myself for upsetting you, all the times.
I just hate myself, and i suuuccckkk.

2011-10-11T13:49:00.000+08:00

why is my chest hurting so bad...?

dizzy.

2011-10-11T12:08:00.002+08:00

you're my romeo, i'm your juliet.

2011-10-11T01:03:00.003+08:00

Logged in audi, but couldn't get into any channels.

that suuuuckkkkk.

I'm fighting against it, as much as I can.

i can do it, i can do it, i can do it.

2011-10-11T00:44:00.001+08:00

It's only 10mins.... and i am missing you already ):

kthxbye.

2011-10-11T00:02:00.002+08:00

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

AHFK, I FEEL SO FKED UP NOW.

WHY AM I SO LOST, AISH. that idk what to do to keep you happy.

WHY AM I SO STUPID, AISH. that idk something is bothering you.

WHY AM I SO IDIOTIC, AISH.

WHY AM I SO ... in love w you?

2011-10-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

I'm in pain, so much pain.

Seeing you like this, it hurts me.

I wanna share everything w you.

Please, open up to me.

2011-10-10T23:18:00.001+08:00

I'm worried. Very.

2011-10-09T06:54:00.003+08:00

Dear aunt, thank you for calling up, because afterall, you're one of the best mom.
I felt safe after talking to you, i felt relieved.
I know my conditions well enough, and I will be strong to overcome it.
You gave me advices and such, in the middle of the night.
I'm already grateful, thankyou.
You'll be someone, I'll never forget.

Should I let them know? Or should I keep to my first intention?
Sigh.

i wanted to let you know about it, y'know?
when will we talk, like usual, again?
i miss you, baby.
I seriously miss you.

2011-10-08T22:52:00.001+08:00

screwed up, looking at these.

antibiotics, pain relief, panadols, blood tests, urine tests.

When will it ever end?

2011-10-08T19:35:00.002+08:00

I still believe.

If this is love,

you would turn back to me, and say

"I love you"

Aish why am I crying?

Lingy you're strong enough to handle this.

You believe in him, don't you?

But why are you crying ?

Because it hurts? But don't you know you've hurt him too?

You felt apologetic? Then why do you keep hurting him?

Leave him? Are you stupid to think that would solve the problem?

Okay, you don't know what to do? Every part of you is hurting, isn't it?

Your cramps, your gastric, your head, your bruises.

But the most painful part, is your heart, right?

All these will be gone, soon. So cherish whatever you have now, lingy.

Treasure.

I ruined everything.

2011-10-08T19:08:00.001+08:00

Doubts.

So many 'why's in my head.

The main thing is, why am I the one going through all these?

I hope one day people will understand.

Because, I'm probably fading away.

If you realised.

2011-10-08T14:20:00.002+08:00

If, one day I'm not here anymore?
Alright, let's not think too much, heh.

2011-10-08T01:34:00.002+08:00

These pain are draining my energy,
Making me feel more exhausted day by day.
I'm starting to doubt my own health.
What if....?